Hoo, boy. You know how something, sometimes, is so perfect, so acutely aligned with your interests and loves, its like it was made for you? Like Charlotte Olympias Cosmic Collection, whose Birthday Shoes effectively combine my love of (specifically flat) footwear, and of the symbolic catalogue of the zodiac. So inexpressibly superior to birthstone jewelry. Heres a closer look:
£495 each. Available for pre-order at Charlotte Olympia
Can you even imagine? These are the best! Actually, some of them are. Certain people sort of get the short end of the stick when it comes to the aesthetic of their star sign. Its all to do with their subject matter, which fall into three categories: objects, animals, and people. As a gemini, Ive always sort of felt that the humanity of my mascot, while an apt representation of the qualities of the sign itself, nevertheless limits the appeal of its artistic expression--like here on these shoes, for example: Id chose that (beautifully nautical) emerald and oyster-pink crab over those two ladies in profile any day. Putting a face on a sign makes it too specific and familiar, no longer purely symbolic. Animal and object signs tend to fare better in their myriad depictions. The hierarchy goes like this: people, animals, objects. Who wouldnt choose, for example, the intertwined fish of Pisces over some lady with long hair (which is somehow, always, supposed to connote virginity)? And are not the balanced scales of libra or the bow and arrow of sagittarius, in their lack of animate qualities, infinitely more mysterious and mystical than that silly bulls head? But of course, really, I love them all. Ideally, I would own the collection in its entirety and wear them according to which star sign was currently rising. Its all part of the upscale, park-avenue-sorceress look Im secretly, and ineffectively, trying to cultivate. Sort of a spin on gypsy prep? Anyway, Im working on it. Maybe Ill tell you more about it, later.